I realise I have not yet posted a caption competition this year. I knew it was time for action when an academic colleague asked when the next one would be. The reception in December to mark the thirtieth anniversary of my promotion to professor at the University of Hull generated a good number of photographs, many of them candidates for the competition. This therefore is likely to be the first of several. It shows Ken Batty speaking at the conclusion of the reception. As always, the winning entry will be the one that in my view is the most amusing and fitting. The prize will be one of my recent publications.
New year caption competition
The Norton View 
Lord Norton reluctantly concedes after breaking his nail in a finger dual with Ken.
Although we are cultivating a quintessential look, nobody would ever guess that we members of the (Hull) Mafia.
aka Oldfellas…
Bang bang.
Whoops … are
‘Now if you just hold that position for a little longer Lord Norton, the sculptor will be able to complete the sketch for the life-size commemorative cake.’
‘Tell me my Lord, why did you steal my finger?’
Or better still: ‘Please my Lord, may I have my finger back?’
Did you know, my Lord, that sign language differs between countries in the same way that spoken language tends to?
As Ken Batty gets to the juicy bit, Lord Norton readies his trigger finger (just in case!).
I think that’s my finger you have there, Sir
Please don’t get me something tacky for a present thought Lord Norton as the crescendo ‘so we got you a wee something to celebrate your achievements’ comment was uttered by Ken.
Lovely presentation, extremely kind words, but I’ve been holding that Department together for 30 years so I get a cup of tea and he hasn’t even bothered to bake a cake!!
‘Now if you just hold that position for a little longer Lord Norton, the sculptor will be able to complete your sketch for the life-size commemorative cake.’
Mirror mirror on the wall, who here has got the most hair of us all?
Ok so Rock Paper Scissors on the count of 3…
LN to Ken: ‘It’s time to throw in the whole hand, not simply an index finger. Show how you’re resourceful old boy.’
The kids say the politics teaching is great but they are running out of ideas for cakes.
KB: “Oww! When I casually suggested they rename your research centre the LORD NORTON OF LOUTH CENTRE FOR LEGISLATIVE STUDIES, I didn’t expect you to try to bite my hand off!”
Now Philip I told you 34 years ago I would one day be more important than you. Well nearly.
Professor Norton rubs his hands with glee as Ken Batty explains just how large the commemorative cake is …
Jokes about my missing finger, missing hair and over abundance of years. I feel picked on. And this is not a caption it’s a complaint!!!!!
I blame the Rev Dr Amene Mir for setting a trend…
So I gave the lamp a rub with my handkerchief, and out came this genie.
“Let’s play hand puppets”
“If I do a three eared bunny, you can do a cow”
“Ok, I’ll say ‘Bloody Mary’ twice, then you say it the third time and we both run, got it?”