As regular readers may recall, my 25 years as professor of government at the University of Hull were celebrated at the end of last year at receptions in both the House of Lords and the University. My colleagues in the Politics Department gave me a card which read ‘Congratulations – you may now wear the Giant Hat of Cleverness’. Given that wording, they decided they had better present me with the Giant Hat of Cleverness, which they duly did. The picture shows me holding the hat. I didn’t wear it. It didn’t fit. My head was too big. I thought the picture, though, may lend itself to a caption competition. There will be a commendation, possibly even a prize, for the reader coming up with the most fitting (no pun intended, well actually there is) caption. Deletion of comments may apply to the least appropriate….
Caption competition – the giant hat of cleverness
The Norton View 
Capital clever captions conjure Cleverness Cap’s carnival character clearly.
Candidly, comments come clumsily concerning capacious capita and college commendations.
Commonly critiqued commenters chance countless comments cut, crushing comment count completely.
Photo reveals dress code breach that led to the cancellation of peer’s Royal Wedding Invitation?
I’ll keep thinking, but unfortunately I think you have already given the best caption with your “It didn’t fit…” comment.
Incidentally, any gossip on who the peer who was called the Queen’s lift up a floor yesterday? At least we can be pretty certain it wasn’t you!
Jonathan: I hadn’t thought of that – award the prize to myself. I’ll think about it, while others see if they can come up with anything.
I don’t know who did press the lift button that took the Queen up in the lift instead of down – I suspect it wasn’t a peer but someone in Parliamentary Archives (who are housed in Victoria Tower). Anyway, you are quite right – it wasn’t me. I was still in the Royal Gallery after the Queen had left.
Lord Norton wins a major role in Hull University’s production of Alice in Wonderland, as he rushed away from the presentation his parting comment was “I’m late, I’m late, for a very important date, no time to say hello, goodbye I’m late, I’m late, I’m late”.
Unfortunate misunderstanding about which way up to hold the hat, leaves distinguished professor and amateur conjurer searching for lost rabbit.
Peer celebrates his win in giant Monopoly competition
Few People in Hull or in the world of Parliamentary Political Studies realize that the Hull Professor Philip Lord Norton is actually the the legitimate successor to Merlinus Ambrosius famed adviser to King Arthur. “See the Hat has a brim and is not a soft or hard cone. It is far advanced and yet very much resembles the hat of my most famous predecessor…” Scotland Yard had no comment about whether this emerging story could be related to the disappearance of a number activists seeking to create a European Republic.
Once again, Lord Norton dusts off the props for first term freshers (the cat and mat are out of shot).
Surely “New monster raving looney identified to take on mantle, and hat, of Screaming Lord Sutch”
The Hull University Haberdashery and Milinery Society awarded this Professor and Conservative Peer five Awards: Fourth Place in Style, Third Place in Colour and Contrast, Second Place in Reversibles, Third Place in Concealed Compartment Accessories and a special prize for the Patent Granted for this hat which can be connected to any spigot and function as a modest and clean travel shower.
Symbol of the Victorian class system………………………holds top hat!
To the utter astonishment of the archaeological community this hat-like crown discovered by Conservative Peer and Professor Norton in his garden when digging a trench for a lawn sprinking system is actually mostly metal thread and is likely the crown of Queen Boadicea’s nephew (Icenirex Minimus) the little known Pendragon of the Coasts and Shores druing her reign. The estimated value of the find is sixty billion pounds. “I expect the Treasury will have it all” was Norton’s comment about the find.
Lord Norton, should you decide at some time to wear the hat may I suggest that should it blow off you don’t chase after it.